hot girls don't typo

As you know by now, The Goddess returns on Tuesday. Despite all of the hype and love I’ve bestowed on her, she’ll have a mere three days for spotlight celebration. Don’t you think for a second I’ve forgotten about my other and longest burning love, Resident Evil. Friday the 13th will mark the release of Resident Evil 5, the latest installment in the greatest videogame series of all time.

The ad sums up the impending glory nicely. It’s going to be all about violence, totally awesome wholesale violence. In this day and age this actually comes as a nice change of pace as for years now the Wii has done its best to turn gamers into pussies that enjoy practicing their masturbating habits to Dreamcast graphics. Stupid success of the Wii. Hey old people, stop buying shitty games. Also, get off Facebook.

Sorry ladies, but with the release of Kelly’s newest and RE5, it’s going to be a week of strictly dude entertainment. However, if you find yourself getting desperate and want to get some attention: do not attempt seduction via the getup on the back cover of the newest Victoria’s Secret catalog. (What? I can’t help it they still get sent to the former resident of my current apartment and somehow find their way to my bathroom with my other toilet readings. In my defense, the pile also features one of her issues of HR Magazine, an informative if not somewhat less sensual browsing.)

I assure you most guys aren’t going to be pulled away from the newest chapter of a world class zombie killing simulator with something called the “drapey blouse”. I’m just saying that a very unflattering body curtain from grandma’s place might not be the best way to accent your swerve.