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Ben Sherman: An Experimental Science Study

Ego fully cast aside, there’s a decent chance I can do the following things better than you:

• Explaining the nuances of fantasy sports to the point where you just want to die after you only asked about it to begin with out of politeness or you thought I meant something else
• Falling asleep while watching various things on television (shows, movies, videogames) at your house… really it’s falling asleep at your place in general
• Wearing Ben Sherman and a lot of it

It’s not news to anybody that I love the fashions of Ben Sherman as documented on Hot Girls. Some people have pointed out that maybe I love the brand too hard. They say that I own an unnecessary amount of their product. I decided the only way to put these claims to rest would be to conduct a complex scientific test. An accuser of mine at work and I partnered up and each day I would walk into his office and he would jot down my shirt situation in his own words.

Cody’s T-Shirt Rotation by Clayton

1. Ben Sherman “Blue Target”

2. Douchey Carnaby Red Ben Sherman

3. Gay ass BLOCK lettering Tigers T

4.  Purple Pussy Ben Sherman Shirt

5. Piece of shit blue/purple (surprise, surprise) Ben Sherman shirt with random fucking dogs on it.

6.  I didn’t think it possible, but yet another Douchey Carnaby Ben Sherman; this one, white, however, not Red.

7.  White Baby Gap rip-off where Cody’s areolas are clearly visible.  Oh, and it’s cold this morning.  Great.

8.  Wow, I’m buying stock in Ben Sherman if at all possible.  Another white Ben Sherman shirt.  It is important to note that I am yet to see a shirt that Cody has worn that is more than 1 inch in sleeve length.  Areolas still clearly visible.

9. Purple Pussy Shirt; yup, the same fucking one.

I would like to thank Clayton for his eagerness to help volunteer in the study. However, it seems clear that I do not own/wear a world-ending amount of our topic of study. One, there was clearly a Detroit Tigers shirt in there. Two, the Purple Pussy repeat is exactly that and it’s not as if I own it harder by wearing it more. Final prognosis: I own a normal, if not altogether low, amount of Ben Sherman.