hot girls don't typo

I’ve posted this picture of Amber Valletta for three reasons. One, she has definitely never typoed once in her entire lifee. Whoops, life I mean. Talk about pure UnValletta. Two, she stars in the film that Sloomie will be discussing. Three, in the event where there’s another month and a half long Hot Girls drought, well, it beats getting disappointed with a jacket. Anywho, I present to you another entry from our very own Sloomie.

Who Are The Ad Wizards Who Came Up With This One?

Hey guys. Sloomie here, picking up the slack for Cody, who has apparently decided not to post any updates until his beloved stolen jacket is returned.

Recent television advertisements for the sure-to-be-classic film Gamer have me thoroughly confused. Over violent clips of explosions, guns and people getting beaten up, an announcer says “the last time Gerard Butler kicked this much ass was 300 years ago.” What? Let’s think about this for a second. They are obviously trying to reference the movie 300, but no matter how I look at it, this statement makes no sense. There are only two ways I can think of that the advertising department could have come up with this slogan.

1. The advertising department thinks 300 took place 300 years ago, in 1709.

This seems hard to believe, as people actually wore shirts by 1709. King Leonidas and crew would have been laughed off the battlefield. Then again, the Spartans in colonial America could have been an interesting movie. If the ad guys did think that the title “300” was in reference to a time period instead of a number of soldiers, they might be excused for thinking the movie occurred in 300 BC. The actual battle of Thermopylae happened in 480 BC, so they wouldn’t be too far off. But, that would still clearly not be “300 years ago,” as the announcer so forcefully asserts.

2. Gamer takes place 300 years from now, in 2309.

IMDB says that the movie takes place “in the near future.” I wouldn’t personally call 300 years from now “the near future,” but let’s go with it for now. If this is the case, the only way the statement makes any sense is if they are considering the movie’s time period to be our present. If we were all in 2309, then 300 would have been released about 300 years ago. So far so good. But comparing Gamer’s fictional timeframe to 300’s real life release date is inconsistent at best. They are asking us to take 2309 as Gerard Butler’s most recent ass-kicking. Fine, but then we’d have to take 480 BC as his last display of ass-kickery. That would be a difference of 2789 years, not 300.

There is a third option I haven’t considered yet. Maybe they aren’t even trying to reference 300. Maybe they are really talking about The Ugly Truth, which does actually take place 300 years prior to Gamer. I haven’t seen The Ugly Truth, but from the trailers I gather that Gerard Butler kicks ass at telling Kathrine Heigl how to attract men. I get it now! The commercial is actually designed to appeal to the ladies and signal that Gamer is a romantic comedy at heart. With guns.

Sloomie