January 2009
16 posts
Kelly Clarkson 1, The Beatles -34 →
Even though half of them are dead it constantly amazes me that The Beatles consistently find new ways to totally suck ass. It has to be embarrassing for them to get obliterated talent-wise year after year by Kelly Clarkson, the most talented musician ever. Don’t be surprised if her new album solves the global financial crisis, yes, this being in addition to becoming the highest selling and...
“You’re a genius!”
– Clearwire rep Justin Thompson, via a story in his sales pitch. He claimed he helped a customer put his account on hold when this dude moved to Australia. Evidently the guy was so enamored with the service that he sent Justin a postcard from down under stating said quote. No this did not happen. I...
“I’m watching this documentary you should look into, it’s called 24.”
– My co-worker’s dad’s friend as asked of said co-worker, in a shockingly strong showing of being really stupid. Don’t get me wrong, I love 24 as much as the next person, but I highly doubt this is real. You’re going to tell me that Jack Bauer has done all that he has over...
“STOP SENDING US PLASTIC COVERS! BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!”
– Some stupid awesome client, compliments of a faxed message scribbled via Sharpie. I can’t stress how hard that fax ended up in the wrong hands. I’ll compromise. You stop telling me about your agenda I don’t give a shit about and I won’t go to your work and knock the dick out...
d money, the very best of
Cody: So, my roommate is moving out this weekend and she is packing up her crap. This is probably the last time I will see her friend Erika who is over right now. Do I just walk up to her shirtless and start flexing right the shit out?
Dave: Do you even need to ask? The answer is obviously yes.
Cody: Noted, D Money, once again delivering.
Dave: I do what I can. So why are you talking to me on Facebook now and not making out with her in what remains of your roommates room?
Cody: Well D Money, basically that was a lot of big talk. And I think she has a boyfriend... though that's by no means an all out barrier. You'll know the success rate if I show up tomorrow (to D Money's party) with her in tow.
Dave: I'm counting on it, sir.
KELLY CLARKSON IS BACK! (i like girls)
I have just anointed her new single “My Life Would Suck Without You” the greatest song ever written. My phantom vagina loves it.
this is what you do to me, 24
Cody: this episode of 24 is making me want to eat a pile of fireworks
Megan: I don't even know what that means.
Cody: it's just..... the best thing ever
and the only thing that could rival it would be firewYAY!~!!
i couldn't even finsih that sentennt
an dnow i'm jsut yping realy fast not caring abotu spelling
i hust have to get ou t all of hte emotion
Megan: I don't even know what to say
Cody: jack bauer just choked out a lady!
HE IS A RESULTS MACHINE!
not to mention the return of THE ALMEIDA FACTOR!
WatchI am 100% certain I have never been more excited to see a single movie in my life. Apparently this has been out for a really long time in other countries and was supposed to come out here a year ago. It was pretty obvious why they had to push it back. The movie studios thought a singular calendar year housing the releases of both Taken and Fast & Furious could presumably end poverty. The only...
“Am I supposed to read this with my human eyes?”
– Me, after making a report for the dumbest law firm in the galaxy and seeing the uber tiny font
the mission: impossible 2 of ideas →
Wow. That’s an awful lot of time, money and marketing spent to not call something a robe. As an actual blanket it seems about as useful as a minority on a network television dating show, talk about chewing up scenery.